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What to Avoid When Offering Condolences

Ferdie Tan • Feb 06, 2023

What to Avoid When Offering Condolences

As providers of cremation services in North Battleford, SK, we know how common it is for people to say the wrong thing to the bereaved, despite their best intentions. It’s not always easy to find the right words in such an emotional environment.


When offering condolences to someone who is grieving, it’s important to be sensitive and considerate. There are some things that you should avoid when showing your support and respect for the person who is dealing with their loss.


Avoid making the conversation about yourself


It is an easy mistake to make, especially if you have experienced a similar loss. Still, the grieving person needs support and comfort, not a comparison of your experiences. Instead, focus on listening and offering your condolences.


Avoid assumptions about the person’s beliefs or feelings


Everyone deals with grief in their own way, and it’s important to respect the person’s process. Don’t assume they believe in an afterlife or are handling their grief a certain way. Instead, offer your support and be there for them.


Avoid making the conversation about the deceased person’s life


While it’s natural to want to celebrate the life of the person who has passed away, the person grieving may not be ready to talk about their loved one in that way. Instead, focus on offering support and comfort to the bereaved.


Avoid using cliches or platitudes


Phrases like “they’re in a better place now” or “time heals all wounds” may seem like the right thing to say, but they can often be insincere or dismissive. Instead, try to be genuine and sincere in your condolences.


Avoid minimizing the loss or the person’s grief


It can be tempting to try to make the person feel better by downplaying the significance of their loss, but this can often have the opposite effect. Instead, validate the person’s feelings and let them know their grief is normal and understandable.


Similarly, avoid language that suggests the person’s loved one is replaceable. Phrases like “you can always have more children” or “you can get another pet” can be hurtful and dismissive of the person’s loss.


Avoid using religion or spirituality to try to explain the person’s loss


Some people may find comfort in their faith during difficult times, but others may not. Don’t impose your beliefs on the grieving person; instead, focus on offering support and comfort in a way that is respectful of their beliefs and feelings.


Avoid giving unsolicited advice


The person who is grieving is likely to be overwhelmed and confused, and they may not be in the mindset to take in advice or make decisions. Instead, offer your support and let them know you are there for them if they need anything.


Avoid making decisions for the person who is grieving


They may not be in the right state of mind to make crucial decisions, but that doesn’t mean they don’t have the right to do so. Instead, offer to help with practical tasks if needed, but let the person make their own decisions about their grief and future.


In conclusion, when offering condolences to someone grieving, focus on listening, and offering support and comfort to the person dealing with their loss.


Our grief support starts well before the funeral. Contact us for your burial or cremation services in North Battleford, SK. Our licensed professionals will work with you to create a final farewell that brings you comfort and honors your loved one’s memory.


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